Rediscovering the Goddess

"Rediscovering the Goddess" by The Petal

I do not remember the first moment when I met the Goddess, the flash of realization that came to me when I understood that my daydreams were not just products of childhood afternoons, but that communing with the Feminine Divine was not only real, it was completely natural.

It was in those early days that I remember spending time in meditation, sitting with the Goddess, talking about my hopes, my needs, and all my desires. She was patient, assisting me when I called upon Her for help, providing new solutions for old problems, quieting my tongue before it rattled off words that my mind thought better of, or even offering comfort when I was ill and did not know where to turn. She taught me that no matter my own personal pain, the sun would rise in the morning and I would have a new day before me to either tolerate or greet.

It seems that many people have a tendency to seek the Divine, regardless of preferred form, when there is something to be overcome, something to survive, whether it be sickness, a loss of a loved one from this physical world, or even heartache.

I am no different. I have little doubt that my discovery of the Goddess happened because I was seeking something more in my life. What I had wasn't enough; it wasn't satisfying. And there, without judgment, stood the Goddess. Fortunately in my experience, She is happy to welcome all of Her children regardless of the path taken to reach Her.

When I experienced my spiritual awakening, I began to study Wicca, searching primarily as a solitary practitioner and occasionally finding other like-minded persons who were traveling in the same general spiritual direction. Most of the knowledge I received was from books, yet my core was beginning to form from something outside the pages of a trusted literary work, or even a conversation with an experienced practitioner. The foundation for my own spiritual journey was being laid by the Goddess Herself. It was the Goddess growing inside me who gave me strength when I was afraid. It was Her Divinity that soothed me during months of painful transition when divorce disrupted my life. It was the strength of the Feminine Divine that drove me forward to finish my education and move to a new city in which I knew only one other.

And then, without so much as a thank you or goodbye, I turned on my heel and walked away from the Goddess. I harbored no ill will toward Her, and I didn't stop believing in Her Existence - "somewhere". I was just simply done engaging in any form of practice that celebrated Her Being.

And, perhaps even worse, I no longer acknowledged Her as part of my life.

But the Goddess did not punish me; in fact, She did not say a word.

As I said before, we humans turn to our "higher powers", our "gods", "the Divine", our Goddess, when we are in dire straits. Help! we call. Goddess, please help me! I have lost my job. My mother is very sick. The love of my life has turned away from me. Please help me get through this. I don't know what to do. And there She is, ready to not only give comfort, but provide clarity when we ourselves are ready to see. We may choose to walk away from the Goddess, but She does not abandon us.

Yet, the purpose of this article is not "discovering" the Goddess, but "rediscovering" Her. You see, there is no need to wait for a difficult or tragic moment to return to the arms of the Mother. In fact, She happily receives those children journeying back to Her, bringing tales of joy instead of tears of woe. Even better for us, the load is lighter when one returns to the Goddess without shoulders hung heavy with heartache or worry. The road is easier to navigate, the season allows easy travel, and the way is familiar.

Rediscovering the Goddess takes many forms. For me, it has been a return to study, and a return to prayer and practice, while incorporating my spirituality into my everyday life through my work. I now talk with the Goddess when I am driving to work in the morning, riding on the back of a motorcycle in summer, and before I fall asleep at night. True, I do still call on the Goddess when I just can't see my way, but my return to the Goddess takes place during the most secure and happy time I have ever experienced in my life. I feel that I am rediscovering the Goddess as a woman, and not discovering Her as the child I once was.

Rediscovery of the Goddess is a marvelous journey. You walk with surer feet, your anticipation of a relationship with the Goddess grows, and whatever those means you use for yourself to connect with Her Divine energy, becomes an act of pleasure, not obligation. As the path grows wide and you reach your destination, the Goddess always welcomes you home. She listens to your stories and revels in your happiness. There is no payment to be made for your absence. You are a daughter of the Goddess, and that alone is good enough.