9 Ways to be Perfectly Miserable - a Foolproof List

"9 Ways to be Perfectly Miserable - a Foolproof List" by Ugur Akinci

1. Try to discuss the "nature of God" with as many people as possible and try to convert all of them to your belief system.

2. When you are already late for an appointment, try to check your watch as many times as possible because every time you check the time, by default, you'll be losing more time.

3. Guess a woman's age and then ask her to verify your guess.

4. Try to figure out exactly what would have happened TODAY if you went to the OTHER school and chose that OTHER thing as a job way back (fill it in) years ago.

5. Buy a shoe just because it is very very cheap.

6. Tell as many people as possible how much exactly you're making in a year so that they'll either despise you for making a lot less than they assumed you were making, or they'll turn green with jealousy for making a lot more than they assumed you were making.

7. When your son or daughter has friends at home for a party, scream at your kid in front of his/her friends for forgetting to clean up his/her room AGAIN!

8. When your boss at the weekly office meeting asks if "anyone else has any questions?" raise up your hand and tell him that you would like to volunteer your services to write up a "Performance Review" for all your office mates.

9. Save the receipts of every thing you buy, shop constantly to find the same item at another store for less, and then return the first item, get a refund, and repeat the same on a daily basis.